Natural Parenting
"This is an age when men value organizations more than their members. When we force children to conform to our convenience, our schedules, our boundaries, and our locked doors, we show them that we value the system more than we value them." ...Dr. James Clark Moloney
The Attachment Parenting Philosophy
I believe in attachment parenting. What is attachment parenting? It is a term coined by Dr. William Sears, in his own words: "This style is a way of caring that brings out the best in parents and their babies. It is, in fact, only recently that this style of parenting has needed a name at all, for it is basically the common sense parenting we all would do if left to our own healthy resources."
Here's what I believe. Attachment parenting is being attached to your child mentally, physically, emotionally. Attached parents bond with their child early. They get to really know their child, they learn to read their child's cues and they respond to them with empathy. They don't leave their child to cry. They breastfeed their child on demand and practice child-led weaning. They wear their child in slings, infant carriers, hip carriers, or backpacks. They give their child all the closeness he needs to feel secure and loved. They share sleep. They believe in gentle guidance and loving discipline. Finally, they believe in their child's basic and intense need for a full time mother in the first few years of life.
Take a look at the world around you, gone are the days when you could leave your doors unlocked, when strangers smiled and said hello as they passed by. Crime, violence, eating disorders, suicide, and teen-age pregnancy (just to name a few) are all on the rise. Is it a coincidence that the disintegration of society started around the same time the traditional extended family started to disintegrate? We push our children away when they need to be dependent. We give them sterile bottles, pacifiers, cribs, bouncing chairs, playpens, and blankies when all they really need is our warm arms and the milk from our breasts. Then we wonder why they push us away when they're older.
Not everyone parents the same way. You don't have to do all of these things to be an "attachment parent". What is important is that you are connected with your child and you read their cues, not someone else's schedule. You know your child better than anyone else, you're the expert. You do what works for your family and your particular situation.
Attachment Parenting Resources:
- Attachment Parenting International: Peaceful Parenting For a Peaceful World
- Empathic Parenting: (Canada) First Three Years... Next Three Generations
- Holistic Moms Network: Supporting Moms. Safeguarding the Future. Naturally.
- The Natural Child Project: Parenting and Education that Respects Children
- The Kidz are People Too Page: Children should be treated with respect.
Attachment Parenting Publications:
- Mothering Magazine: celebrates the experience of parenthood as worthy of one's best efforts and fosters awareness of the immense importance and value of parenthood and family life in the development of the full human potential.
- The Compleat Mother: Women gaining empowerment through homebirth and breastfeeding; women creating circles of love, family beds, loving homes and supportive communities.
- hipMamma:seeks to provide entertainment, information and stimulation for parents who didn't check their personalities at the door when their kids were born.
- Welcome Home: A monthly newsletter supporting stay at home moms published by Mothers At Home
Baby Carriers & Slings:
- Baby Bundler: My all time favorite carrier, this thing wins hands down for comfort! It takes about 15 minutes to figure out (it looks more complicated than it is) and from that point on it's a breeze - my only compliant is that it's difficult to nurse in without lots of practice. Newborn thru 24 months, Organic & 100% Cotton styles available, secure & comfortable! A must have.
- Over The Shoulder Baby Holder: My personal favorite sling, fits newborn thru 35 lbs., front, side or back carry, comfy padding, 3 sizes for a perfect fit, easily adjustable - check out their nursing wear too.
- Maya Wrap: Another of my personal favorites - fits newborn thru 35 lbs., gorgeous 100% cotton Guatemalan fabric, versatile, not bulky (due to having no padding) which makes it super easy to adjust and get a really snug fit.
- The New Native Baby Carrier Organic & 100% cottons, newborn thru 35 lbs. front, side or back carry, various sizes - non-adjustable, no padding - I have never tried one of these but I have heard great things about them.
- Elizabeth Lee Designs - Sling Pattern: Do you like to sew? Make your own sling - this pattern is super easy (easy enough even for non-sewers) and since you make it yourself you can make sure you get a perfect fit.
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Natural Mothering: Attachment Parenting Page
First on-line: 6/28/1996